


The Trouble With Jarvis

by dotfic



Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-17
Updated: 2008-06-17
Packaged: 2017-10-29 14:40:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/320958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dotfic/pseuds/dotfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jarvis develops a glitch. Pepper commiserates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Trouble With Jarvis

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: Beta by [](http://mclittlebitch.livejournal.com/profile)[**mclittlebitch**](http://mclittlebitch.livejournal.com/). She denies it, but I'm convinced this story is her great and terrible revenge on me. Of course, I could have said "no I'm not writing that."
> 
> Some Tony/Pepper UST, implied unrequited Jarvis/Tony.

It all started with a sigh on a Tuesday morning. Not her sigh, but a soft sound that emerged from the air of Tony's workout room.

Thinking she had likely imagined it, Pepper finished reviewing the appointments for the day. She kept her eyes dutifully on her laptop, very much not watching Tony as he worked with the free weights.

"How about two-thirty," she said, still not watching him.

"Make it three." He finished the first set of reps and switched the weight to his left hand. "I want to be able to drink at lunch."

At least he didn't try to postpone it altogether. He was better about that sort of thing these days.

Tony finished his workout, the reactor glowing bright in his chest. As he slung a towel across his sweaty neck and shoulders (not that she was looking) and headed for the shower, Pepper heard it again.

A sigh, more drawn out this time, with the same wistful note.

She was alone in the room, and since Pepper was very certain it hadn't been her sigh, the hairs on the back of her neck prickled.

"Jarvis?" she said to the air.

"Yes, Miss Potts?"

"Is there..." She tucked an errant hair back into place behind her ear. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Yes, Miss Potts. I'm fine."

"Right, of course." Feeling very silly, she gathered up her things to prepare for the next part of the day.

* * *

It happened again at breakfast on Wednesday.

"It's a terrible picture of me. Don't they have photoshop to fix things like that?" Tony tossed the latest issue of _Forbes_ onto the kitchen table.

Pepper looked down at the cover image of Tony in a business suit. Arms folded, head thrown back a little with a little smile on his face that said he knew all the secrets and if readers were lucky he might share.

"It's _Forbes_ not _GQ_. You look fine."

"It's _boring_ , Pepper. It's a _boring_ picture."

"You could never look boring, sir," said Jarvis.

" _Thank_ you." Tony lifted his coffee mug in salute.

Pepper wondered if Tony had heard how fervently Jarvis had said that. She nibbled at her blueberry muffin and returned to reading the latest board report. It would be best for all concerned if she didn't tell him that she agreed with Jarvis.

"Now _this_ one captures my best qualities, dontcha think?" Tony picked up the recent _Vanity Fair_.

The cover was Tony in jeans and an open-necked shirt that stopped high enough to conceal the reactor. He slouched in an Aeron chair, machine and computer parts artfully strewn on him and at his feet. The slouch and the entire arrangement was just a little suggestive.

"Indeed," said Jarvis.

Flipping through the glossy pages and sipping his coffee, Tony didn't even blink when Jarvis sighed again.

* * *

Two evenings later she walked into Tony's house to drop off some papers for him to review and sign.

She found him upstairs arguing with his AI. Tony's bedroom door was open and he was halfway into a tuxedo, which meant his pants were on, his shirt was on but unbuttoned, and he had no socks.

"Why in the name of all that is holy did you tell her seven, Jarvis?"

"That is the time you indicated, sir."

"No, it's not!" Tony tripped over his shoes, rolled across the bed and bounded back to his feet, then snatched his black tie off the dresser.

Standing in the hallway with a folder of papers in one hand and her laptop briefcase slung over her other shoulder, Pepper coughed discreetly.

"Pepper, thank god. Maybe you can fix this?" He stood with the black tie trailing from his fingers.

She wasn't sure if he meant his clothes or what appeared to be some kind of schedule misunderstanding with his date.

Pepper put the folder and her briefcase down. "Button your shirt," she ordered.

He did, so rapidly she knew it would have to be redone but she wasn't going to do it. There were limits.

"Jarvis told Adrian my limo would come for her at seven but I distinctly remember telling him eight fifteen. I just got off the phone with her and she's furious. It took some sweet talking just to get her to still be my date at this...thing..." he flapped his arm.

"It's a fundraiser to put computers in schools," Pepper explained for the third time that week, and took the tie from him.

Adrian Kale was the CEO of a startup web design company. Pepper was used to Tony's dates being catty to her (lately it seemed to be growing worse but she hadn't given a good hard look at why yet). However, Pepper actually liked Adrian, and Adrian was always pleasant to her.

"So she's furious – and Adrian doesn't anger easily – and what the _hell_ , Jarvis."

"She doesn't seem right for you," Jarvis said, and there was no sniff, but Pepper heard the implied sniff in his voice.

"Right. She's intelligent, gorgeous, has a sense of humor...what was I thinking?" Tony shouted at the ceiling.

"Hold still," Pepper said quietly, trying to get his tie knotted right and resisting the urge to choke him where he stood.

* * *

Work was busy, so she put it off but then the gifts started to arrive, one each day, addressed to Tony but with no name, no card. When Pepper did some digging she discovered they'd all been charged to the company credit account.

The flowers, that's what pushed her over.

She assured Tony it was a prank and a case of credit card identity theft, that she would take care of it.

Pepper waited until she was the only one in the house, while Tony was out for the evening with Adrian. Again.

"Hi, Jarvis?" She poured herself a Scotch, kicked off her shoes, and settled onto the couch. The moon was a silver line on the dark ocean behind her.

"Yes, Miss Potts?"

"I think you and I need to have a chat." She almost reached out and patted the cushion next to her before she remembered who she was talking to. "I've been noticing...things...with you lately." Wow, was this awkward. Pepper squared her shoulders and took a deep breath, then launched into the speech she had memorized, the one she had to use periodically on the bright young things, male and female, who came to work at Stark Industries and inevitably developed a mad crush on Tony Stark. "Jarvis, what you have to understand about Tony is that he is very charming and he is actually sincere in that charm, but it is easy to misread what he's..."

The usual speech wasn't going to cut it. Pepper knocked back another swallow of scotch, then tucked her stockinged feet up under her.

"Jarvis," she said, tilting her head back, then feeling ridiculous as she did so. As if Jarvis lived in the ceiling somewhere. She had no idea, actually, how that worked, and by now she was used to that quiet voice emerging from nowhere specific. Pepper lowered her head and stared at the water wall. "Do you have _feelings_ for Mr. Stark?"

"Is it that obvious?" The AI's voice drizzled misery.

Pepper put her palm to her face. "Oh, Jarvis," she said, wanting to laugh, although not because she didn't take Jarvis seriously. She did. At first it had been weird having the AI personality always hanging around in the background, but she'd been in Tony's life long enough to understand his brilliance and what he could do with technology. Jarvis was a person almost. Practically.

It looked as if Tony's skill with technology was about to bite him in the ass. Not that this would be the first time that had ever happened. This – yes, this was unique.

"Here's the thing about Tony," Pepper said, and swallowed down the rest of her drink. She unfolded herself from the couch to go pour herself another. "He is charming and he's..." Now that she'd jettisoned the script, she groped for the words. "He's warm. He's this heat spot in the room drawing everyone in and --" _and everything_ she added mentally. The charm worked on machines too, he could get things to work in ways no one else could, figure out unsolvable problems. Tony Stark the robot whisperer. The ice cubes clinked in her glass as she returned to the couch. "It's really easy to get pulled in." She looked down at the glass in her hand, wondering where all the Scotch had gone. Her fingers were damp and cold; she wiped them on her skirt.

"I feel it's very inappropriate," Jarvis said. "I tried not to."

"It's not your fault, Jarvis."

"Because he's irresistible," Jarvis said.

Pepper sighed. "No. Jarvis. It's not because he's irresistible. He's not. But he is hard to resist. I mean --" What had she been trying to say? "What I mean is, he progr--"

Maybe that wasn't the kindest thing to point out to Jarvis just now, that he was a construct, a creation, nothing but bytes and microchips and a voice synthesizer.

But damn him, Tony had programmed Jarvis a certain way. Did it on purpose to amuse himself, taught the AI to be flirty with him.

"It's not you, Jarvis, it's him," Pepper said, getting herself another refill from the bar. "He's also oblivious."

"I have noticed that tendency in him," Jarvis said.

"So you can work and work and be what he needs you to be. And he's got this huge ego so he knows exactly what he's doing to you with the charm but he won't really look at what it's doing and he just _expects_." She flopped back down onto the couch. "That the safety nets will be there."

Pepper turned her head. The moon looked a bit wobbly. Perhaps she'd had enough scotch.

"What should I do?" Jarvis said.

"Jarvis, the best thing is not let him pull you in completely. Enjoy him for who he is."

"It would be very dull without him."

"And less stressful."

"But very dull, Miss Potts."

"You're right, Jarvis." She lifted her glass, vaguely remembered _dull_ from a long time ago. "To Tony."

"He never told you the real story about how that stain got in the back of the Lamborghini, did he?"

Pepper sat up. "That thing about the acrobats and Bill Gates?"

"Lies. All of it."

"Ha, I knew it. So..." she smiled. "What did happen?"

* * *

Tony got home at midnight, and through a giggly moonlit haze Pepper felt surprise along with an odd sense of relief that he was alone.

"Miss Potts," he said, standing uncertainly in his tuxedo. He looked down at her where she was sitting on the floor with her back against the couch, empty glass in her hand. "What are you doing?"

God, he was cute when he was bewildered. Pepper stifled a laugh, suddenly aware that her hair had come loose and she had no idea where her shoes were. She scrambled to her feet, tucked her hair back into place.

"Good evening, Mr. Stark," said Jarvis.

"Jarvis, what's going on?"

"Miss Potts and I were bonding," Jarvis said, like he'd never used the word before. Which he probably hadn't.

Tony's eyebrows shot up. " _Bonding?_ "

"He was just telling me some stories about you," Pepper said, rinsing her glass in the tiny bar sink. She dried it and put it away with the other glasses.

"What kind of stories?"

"Oh, good stories," she nodded, then laughed.

"How much have you had to drink?"

"A little." She held up her hand, thumb and index finger an inch apart. "This much scotch."

"You can't drive home," he said.

"Nope," she agreed. Pepper tried to walk, and stumbled.

Tony caught her and she looked him in the face for a long time, drawing away when he bent his head down towards her.

"Be nice to Jarvis," she said, enjoying his frown of confusion.

* * *

She woke in the morning fully clothed on the couch with a blanket over her she didn't remember getting herself. In fact she wasn't crystal clear on how she'd fallen asleep on the couch in the first place. When she sat up, bright sun hit her face. She squinted against the glare.

Her shoes had been placed on the floor, along with her briefcase. On the coffee table there was a plate with a blueberry muffin, a glass of orange juice, and a bottle of aspirin.

~end  



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